Archie's Weird Mysteries

1999

Archie Andrews: (at the end of every episode) In a little town called Riverdale.

Veronica Lodge: My pendant! Jughead Jones: My Peanut! Archie Andrews: My goodness!

Veronica Lodge: (has been transformed into a vampire) It's your old friend, Vampronica!

Archie Andrews: I think I just put my hand where too many hamburgers have gone before.

Dilton Doiley: We'll be back faster than you can say, "Pythagorean Theorem."

Archie Andrews: You sat in front of that television for 12 hours? Jughead Jones: That's why they call it a marathon. Archie Andrews: No, that's why they call it the boob tube!

Betty Cooper: Veronica, never go running into a crowd of you!

Veronica Lodge: I am the only one who is still me... Well, technically everyone else is me.

Jughead Jones: Why do houses burn down but paper burns up? If "he" is a "him", why isn't "she" a "shim"?

Reggie Mantle: Archie, Jughead! My pals! (to werewolf) Eat *them*! Eat *them*!

Archie Andrews: One of us should get the girls to the car, while the other distracts the monster. Jughead Jones: Good plan. See ya. Archie Andrews: Wait! Aren't you going to volunteer to stay behind? Jughead Jones: Sorry, I'm allergic to fur and having my legs ripped off.

Reggie Mantle: Great. I finally meet a girl who likes me, and it turns out she's the teacher who made me retake geography in summer school.

Archie Andrews: Reggie, why do you have to always point up everyone's mistakes? Reggie Mantle: Because I'm better than everyone.

Archie Andrews: (about Reggie) He's got a case of terminal jerkiositude.

Veronica Lodge: What happened to the good old days when Jughead was the only weirdo in town?

Reggie Mantle: (Reggie is a vampire - points to teeth) Sharp as ever! Betty Cooper: Unlike your brain, which is as dull as ever.

Jughead Jones: Hi, Reggie. Reggie Mantle: (dressed as a werewolf) Ah, man! How did you know it was me? Jughead Jones: Besides the fact that you've always come to Veronica's parties dressed up as a werewolf?

Reggie Mantle: I just kill me! Archie Andrews: I understand the impulse.

Reggie Mantle: Hey, Pop, speed it up! I'm burning daylight here. I've got people to go, and places to meet!

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