America's Next Top Model
2003
Adrianne Curry: I am not living like a pig any more! I can't take it. My house is immaculate. Just like, bling-bluh-bling-bling-bling! And I come here and it's like, phbbt-phbbt-phbbt-phbbt-phbbt!
Adrianne Curry: I live almost in the boondocks. Nothing going on. I mean, you go cow-tipping, you know?
(upset that Robin is not compromising about what to do with their free day in Paris) Adrianne Curry: She doesn't seem very Christ-like to me! In fact, I think she secretly worships the Devil!
Kesse Wallace: Since I am the true diva - Devastating, Intriguing, Vivacious, and just All That, it's time for me to take what's mine!
(calling her boyfriend multiple times who has been ignoring her since the competition began) Nicole Panattoni: Hey, honey, it's me... Hey, Baby Doll, it's me... Hey, it's me... Babe, it's me... Hey, Pumpkin, it's me.
(confronting Robin who refused to do a photo shoot with implied nudity but who has previously flashed Jay Manuel) Tyra Banks: What is this person that preaches all this, "I'm holy, I'm this, I have my Bible open." And here you are, opening a curtain and you are topless and you are shaking your chest jiggle-shimmy. I saw them go round and round and up and down!
(approaching runway trainer J. Alexander to judge an impromptu dance competition) Robin Manning: Before you go, we have to ask you a question - can you be a celebrity judge in our ba-donka-donk contest right quick?
Robin Manning: Ebony is a lesbian and I find this offensive.
(a snake is resting on her shoulders in a photo shoot and making her very uncomfortable) Robin Manning: Ewww! Oh, get 'im, get 'im, get 'im, get 'im, get 'im!
Robin Manning: I'm unique, I'm fun. I don't have to say it, 'cause five minutes of being around me, you know it, you'll go back and tell a friend.
Robin Manning: I've been, um, Miss Shelbyville, Tennessee. Y'all don't probably know about that. And, uh, I competed in Miss Libertyland, Miss Soybean Festival...
Robin Manning: I've never touched a snake before. I don't play with reptiles and amphibians and all that.
Robin Manning: I wear snakeskin boots. But, you know, I don't have to see it and feel it, and... mmm. It just wasn't.
(a snake is resting on her shoulders in a photo shoot and making her very uncomfortable) Robin Manning: I had to call on Jesus, I don't know how many times!
(uncomfortable about having a Brazilian bikini wax performed on herself) Robin Manning: You know, there's only two people that's been down there - myself and my gynecologist, and I give him crap.
(a snake is resting on her shoulders in a photo shoot and making her very uncomfortable) Robin Manning: Oh, it's tickling up under my arm!
(a snake is resting on her shoulders in a photo shoot and making her very uncomfortable) Robin Manning: Oooh, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
(after judging an impromptu "ba-donka-donk" contest that ended with Kesse doing the splits on the floor) J. Alexander: Dang! You went to pick up a quarter!
(expressing her dislike of Kesse's photograph) Janice Dickinson: This looks like she escaped from a mental institution! This is the worst photograph I've ever seen! You look deranged. Your arms look amputeed, your legs look amputeed, and it looks like you have a penis! I'm sorry.
(discussing Robin's photograph) Steve Santagati: Robin, first of all, is too old to be starting to model. Janice Dickinson: And fat! She's huge! She's not going to be a top model. She should work for a car tarpaulin company!
(Tyra demonstrates how to say the same line with different emotions) Tyra Banks: There's different ways that you can read the same line. There, I'll do it for you. I mean, "Tyra, give me sexy." (sexily) "Passion." Janice Dickinson: Yeah, baby! Tyra Banks: "Tyra, give it to me soft." (softly) "Passion." "Tyra, give it to me excited." (excited) "Passion!"
(Robin is uncomfortable with doing a nude photo shoot) Robin Manning: Last week, it was a bra and panties. I wouldn't... I probably would never do that. This week, it's two strands of ribbon and a thong. What is it going to be next week?
Robin Manning: Servin' the Lord ain't easy, but, in the end, you always come on top!
Giselle Samson: One day I'll be able to meet Michael Jackson. Cindi Berger: You want to meet Michael Jackson? Giselle Samson: I want to meet Michael Jackson so bad!
(On Tyra Banks) Robin Manning: Miss Tyra, she's really like a, like a girlfriend type. You know, someone, like, you can open up to.
(on doing an athletic-themed photo shoot with Clinton Portis) Robin Manning: He was lustin'!
Tyra Banks: I made the tiniest little fart just now!
(Robin is concerned with Elyse's eating habits) Robin Manning: I felt sorry for her last night when she was eatin' all that food. 'Cause, po' child, I was like, "Lord, I hope that she doesn't throw up!"
Kesse Wallace: I'm like, I'm real sassy, but classy.
Robin Manning: My grandmother used to always tell me, "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything!"
(phone rings at openly gay Jay Manuel's apartment) Robin Manning: Oh, Mr Jay, can I answer your phone? (picks up the phone) Robin Manning: (on phone) Hey, who is this calling my man?
(Tyra and Jay Manuel are doing Adrianne's make-up) Adrianne Curry: (voice-over) They call it "the mask of Zorro." It was, like, purple, and it was cool. I looked like the Hamburglar.
Robin Manning: (making a back-up beat so Ebony can rap) Buk-donka-donk! Buk-donka-donk! Buk-donka-donk! Buk-donka-donk! Ebony Haith: (rapping) Fight! Fight! We black! We women! I'm a lesbian! She's voluptuous! We're different! We're people! Robin Manning: (laughing)
(Ebony explains to J. why she's so greasy) Ebony Haith: I'm going through issues, so I'm, you know, moisturizin'! J. Alexander: Oh, baby, what kinda issues was you goin' through you're moisturizin'?
Robin Manning: I don't care if it was Miss Soybean, Miss, uh, Bluegrass, or whatever, Miss Chitlin', I was gonna enter it, okay?
(Critiquing Nicole's photo) Janice Dickinson: I think the arm across your stomach is pushing your breasts together to make them even more breasty.
Robin Manning: (praying) It's just about bein' a good person, Lord! And I know that that's not fashionable, bein' a good person. And bind Satan, Jesus! Amen, and amen.
(In a montage) Janice Dickinson: Okay, if you could be a judge and eliminate anyone, who would it be? Camille McDonald: Oooh, that's a hard question! Sara Racey-Tabrizi: Right now, it'd be Camille. April Wilkner: Camille. Yoanna House: (loudly) Camille! Janice Dickinson: Why? Yoanna House: (opening her eyes wide) Because she's a *witch*!
Janice Dickinson: You seem to be a little intimidated by me. Do I make you nervous? Camille McDonald: I love you! Like, people may call you, you know, "the bitch" or whatever, but it's just... Janice Dickinson: A bitch? I didn't say bitch, but are they calling me a bitch? Camille McDonald: People may call you that. (later) Janice Dickinson: You know, that was really offensive to me. You know, I'm a member of the PTA.
(evaluating Sara's photo and discussing her performance in a speech competition) Nigel Barker: I guess my one negative with her when she was giving the speech, she dropped into that sort of "ghetto" thing. Tyra Banks: There's an art to using that. I don't think she's mastered the art.
(in an acting challenge, Camille provides her interpretation of the line, "I cried myself to sleep for six months.") Camille McDonald: I cried, Colin, not for one, not for two, but I cried for six months!
Tyra Banks: Everybody knows me as a model. I mean, that's what I've been doing for a really long time. But now I'm moving into the world of "recording artist." And I'm nervous! I really am.
Tyra Banks: Singing has been a passion of mine for a long time. For six years, on the down low, I've been duckin' in and out of studios, cuttin' tracks. If you're not ready to show the world what you're doing, don't say nothin'. But now I'm ready.
(Camille is at a go-see and has just demonstrated her walk) Michael Giannini: (with an Italian accent) Okay, she wants to know why you walk like this. Explain, explain. Try to explain. Camille McDonald: This is my signature walk and this is what's going to make me famous.
(discussing a rude comment made to Mercedes at a go-see) Janice Dickinson: I would have slapped that woman's face if she talked to me like that! Tyra Banks: And you would have been homeless and jobless!
(critiquing April's photograph) Janice Dickinson: This photograph looks like the batteries died in her vibrator.
Tiffany Richardson: Bitch poured beer on my weave!
Tiffany Richardson: That skank ho poured the beer on my weave!
(upon learning that she will be on the show) Toccara Jones: I'm here! I'm here! I'm big, black, beautiful and lovin' it!
April Wilkner: I'd rather pose nude than with clothing on.
(upset that April was coming up with poses for her photo shoot) Jay Manuel: April is almost trying to take over my job!
(in response to Shandi's question about being cheated on by a boyfriend) Tyra Banks: I had one guy that cheated on me in Milano. He was a male model, child. And that just hurt me so much! But now, I always tell my man, like, "Don't cheat! Flirt so much with that other girl, but then come home and do me!"
Jay Manuel: (commenting on Kesse's makeup) The only thing that I really would have done is try to rim your eyes and smoke it out a little bit more.
(Tyra cautions Kim about being proud) Tyra Banks: I think there's a certain thing of being proud, like, I'm black and proud, you know what I mean? But I'm not, like, walking the red carpet (rapping) "I'm black! I'm black!" You know what I'm saying?
Kim Stolz: (impersonating Lisa) I'm gonna win, if that's okay by you!
Tiffany Richardson: All y'all bitches evil!
(Tiffany recounts her response to Tyra's yelling at her) Tiffany Richardson: You serious? Like, are you yellin' at me? You cut me from your show and you're yellin' at me?
Tyra Banks: Will Yoanna and Sara please step forward. How can I judge someone else when I'm putting myself out for everyone to see? Yoanna, your dance steps were all over the place. Sara, the judges felt that you were too sexy. (flipping the photo over) Yoanna, congratulations. You're on your way towards becoming America's next top model. (Sara starts crying as Tyra walks over and hugs her) I'm sorry, Sara.
Lisa: I don't know about everybody else but I love bubbles!
(repeated line) Lisa: Bubbles!
Lisa: I almost feeling like the bubbles are owning you and you aren't owning the bubbles.
(Lisa confronts Coryn about a statement she made) Lisa: "You need to come up with another dance move," is what you said. Coryn Woitel: Exactly.
Lisa: You need to stop hating on people, especially me. Coryn Woitel: (laughing) What? Are you serious? Oh, my goodness... Okay, I'm done with you. Forget it, forget it. Lisa: Okay, okay. Coryn Woitel: You don't hate on me but yet you go around to all these girls and tell them that they need to work on this, they need to do this, and they look like this? Lisa: You know what? I think I'm being a friend instead of blowing smoke up everyone's ass! Coryn Woitel: You're not trying to be no friend! You ain't no friend to nobody! Lisa: You're the only one that seriously dislikes me. Coryn Woitel: I'm the only one that told you to your face that I do not like you. Lisa: I'm not trying to hurt anybody. I'm really just trying to help everyone. Honestly. (Nik and Kim laugh. Coryn walks away)
Coryn Woitel: Oh, my goodness. Lisa: Don't go over there and talk about it. If you want to talk about something talk about it to me. Coryn Woitel: (yelling) Will you shut up? Why are you still talking to me? Shut up! Lisa: Okay, well... Coryn Woitel: I do not like you! I told you that a long time ago! Lisa: Then don't talk about me. Don't talk to me. Don't make snappy comments to me. Just pretend I don't exist! Coryn Woitel: Then shut up and I can pretend like you don't exist. Coryn Woitel: That is so rude! Grow up, Coryn! You're basically presenting yourself like a moron. Okay? Coryn Woitel: And what are you doing, alcoholic bitch?
(Lisa talks about, and to "Cousin It", a large bush growing by the pool) Lisa: I love Cousin It. I feel like me and Cousin It are almost the same. (quietly) What's the secret? No, it's cool, man, you don't have to tell me.
Lisa: Everybody be lookin' at me like I'm *crazy*! Everybody be takin' themselves way too serious! Everybody just needs to calm down. Calm down! Take a break! Eat a cookie!
Tyra Banks: (angrily) I said stop talking! How dare you! We were routing for you. Both of you just go home and learn something from this.
Jay Manuel: This is the whole age-old story of - you know the movie Showgirls or whatever, when she pushes the girl down the stairs because she wanted to get somewhere else? When the competition heats up, people start to go cuckoo.