Alice
1976
Florence Jean Castleberry: Kiss my grits!
Florence Jean Castleberry: When donkeys fly!
Vera Louise Gorman: Flo? Florence Jean Castleberry: Yeah? Vera Louise Gorman: How do you discourage a man from making physical advances to you? Florence Jean Castleberry: I don't. Vera Louise Gorman: How do I stop him from chasing me just for my body? Alice Hyatt: Let him catch ya.
Florence Jean Castleberry: People sure make a livin' outta dyin', don't they?
Tommy Hyatt: (realizing that something strange is going on) Hey, what's going on? Why's everyone so nervous? Why's the door closed? Florence Jean Castleberry: Uh, we were just havin' a discussion. Tommy Hyatt: Oh? What about? Alice Hyatt: You don't wanna know. Tommy Hyatt: Talkin' about sex, huh? Alice Hyatt: No, we're not talkin' about sex. Tommy Hyatt: Then, you're right. I don't wanna hear it.
Vera Louise Gorman: Tommy, what would you do if you found a lot of money? Tommy Hyatt: I'd run away with Marie Osmond.
Alice Hyatt: Is Mel in a good mood? Vera Louise Gorman: I don't know; I've never seen him in one.
Mel Sharples: You mean he never had a policy? Alice Hyatt: No, Don didn't believe in insurance. Mel Sharples: How come? Alice Hyatt: It didn't come in a six-pack.
Mel Sharples: People drink because it makes 'em feel good. Tommy Hyatt: Is that how you feel now? Mel Sharples: I just had a little bit too much... good.
(Tommy broke his ankle) Tommy Hyatt: And what am I gonna do about school? Mel Sharples: Well, you miss a couple o' days. I missed plenty o' days and look at me. Tommy Hyatt: Yeah!
Mel Sharples: I like myself the way I am. Who needs self-improvement? Alice Hyatt: Anyone who likes you the way you are.
(Vera knocks on the door) Mel Sharples: (in a high-pitched voice) Who is it? Vera Louise Gorman: It's me, Vera. Mel Sharples: How can I be sure? Vera Louise Gorman: I don't know, but if it isn't me, there's nobody here.
Florence Jean Castleberry: So to prove I'm serious about getting rid of my vices, I'm going to give up the thing I love most. Mel Sharples: Gee, that'll be bad news for half the guys in Phoenix. Florence Jean Castleberry: Mel! I was talkin' about coffee!
Mel Sharples: (as Vera discusses UFO lore) Where did you read that... in the "Dinghy Digest"?