Action Jackson
1988
Peter Dellaplane: Murder is a tool!
Officer Kornblau: So what's your name? Albert: A-Albert. A-Albert Smith. Officer Lack: Albert, your mother and father weren't by any chance brother and sister, were they? Albert: Hey man, what's gon' happen to me? Officer Kornblau: Oh, nothing. Uh, wel-nothing much, uh... you might have to endure a little session with, uh, Action Jackson. Albert: Wh-who's Axon... ? Officer Lack: *Action*, Albert. *Action Jackson*. Officer Kornblau: Yeah, some say he didn't even have a mother. That some researchers at NASA created him to be the first man to walk on the moon without a space suit. Officer Lack: Mm-hmm. Officer Kornblau: Others say his mother was molested by Bigfoot and, uh, Jackson is their mutant offspring. Officer Lack: They bring in Jackson when they want to re-educate some young ne'er-do-well such as yourself, Albert. Officer Kornblau: Yeah, I remember one kid got re-educated so bad, his testicles climbed back up into his belly. Wouldn't come out. Officer Lack: They called it a medical miracle. Officer Kornblau: Yeah. Another kid, handcuffed to a chair; gnawed his own hand off like a trapped skunk, or wolverine, or somethin'.
Officer Kornblau: It was a regular fuck-o-rama at my place last night. Officer Lack: Can the shit, Kornblau. There ain't been any pussy at your pad since your mother helped you move in. They oughta call your place the House of Wax.
(turning a flamethrower on a bad guy) Action Jackson: How do you like your ribs?