3 Men and a Little Lady
1990
Mary: What a crock. Sylvia: Mary! Where did you hear that? Peter Mitchell: (On the phone) What a crock!
Michael Kellam: When I was at summer camp, I bunked with a kid who collected farts.
Peter Mitchell: I think she knows that actors are just like regular people. Jack Holden: (Enters dressed as Dracula) Good afternoon.
Jack Holden: Do you want to marry me? Peter Mitchell: Jack! Jack Holden: (to Sylvia) Wanna sleep on it? Michael Kellam: She did that once before, Jack! Jack Holden: Hey, shut up! (turns back to Sylvia) Do you want to marry me? Sylvia: No... but thank you for asking.
Sylvia: We're going to live in London. Jack Holden: London, England? Michael Kellam: (Sarcastically) No, London, New Jersey.
Peter Mitchell: (Also said in _Three Men and A Baby 1987) _ (qv) I'll give you $1,000 if you do it.
Mary: Do you have a penis?
Peter Mitchell: (on the phone) We're building an office block for 15,000 people, we can't put a bathroom on every other floor. (pause) Well, what if they don't go before come to work?
Peter Mitchell: Marry me. Sylvia: Why Peter? For Mary's sake? You don't have to do that now. I'm moving back to New York and living there and you can see as much of Mary as you like. Peter Mitchell: It's not for Mary I'm doing this. I'm doing it for me. I love you. Sylvia: No you don't. Peter Mitchell: Yes I do. I love you. I love the way you walk, I love the way you laugh, I love the way when you get nervous you bite your bottom lip just like you're doing now, I love the way you love Mary, (to the congregation) I even love her liver mousse. I love you and if there were no Mary, if there was nothing else I would still love you. And I want to make Mary all over again with you.
Jack Holden: You love Sylvia, don't you? Peter Mitchell: Why do you say that? Jack Holden: Don't you. Oh come on Peter, just say how you feel. Peter Mitchell: Alright, I love her. Jack Holden: Yes! Man, I wish there was a category like this on Jeopardy, I'd clean up. So why don't you tell her? Peter Mitchell: I'm scared. Jack Holden: Of what? Getting married again? Peter Mitchell: Yes. I love Sylvia. There, I've said it. I love her, I love her so much it hurts. But I'm scared, I'm scared of hurting her and Mary and you and Michael. And me.
Jack Holden: You love Sylvia and she loves you. Peter Mitchell: She loves me? Jack Holden: Yes! Peter Mitchell: Then why is she marrying Edward? Jack Holden: Because you never asked her.
Peter Mitchell: (gets shocked by television) Ohhh shit! Mary: You said the "S" word! Peter Mitchell: No I didn't. (gets shocked again) Ohhh shit!
Michael Kellam: (Peter is trying to unplug Mary's TV) Pete, are you listening to me? Peter Mitchell: No, I'm electrocuting myself!